A Tale of Two Amy's & What They Taught Me About Living My Authentic Self

Photo by  rawpixel  on  Unsplash

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Who doesn’t want to be Rachel Hollis, Bethany Frankel, Sarah Wallace, or (insert your favorite, inspiring lady boss)?  If we just start an events company, blog, buy their preferred workout clothes, use their morning routine, and we will be able to replicate their success.  It sounds silly when we compare ourselves to the wildly successful, but sometimes it seems realistic if we just look at the lady next to us who is one step ahead.  But it is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way.

I moved from my small town in Kentucky to attend college in Nashville.  I moved into my dorm and became friends with my Residence Director of my dorm.  Amy was so cool. She was 28, married,with a dog, amazing red hair, and an irreverent sense of humor.  Amy had an open door policy and was an awesome listener who doled out just the right advice. My 18 year-old self wanted that casual confidence and fun life.  I thought all of that and more came job of being a Residence Director.

So, my first step was becoming a Residence Hall Advisor and have my very own floor of girls to shape and mold.  Boy was I unprepared. After several semesters of training and work in the campus apartment complex, I finally had a floor of freshman girls to share laughs and advice with.  I wasn’t prepared for the shock and disappointment when girls weren’t knocking down my door to chat about their life and problems and I still questioned decisions and wondered where my confidence was hiding.  Pair that with a boss that I clashed with, and I quickly realized that all of Amy’s amazing qualities were solely because Amy was being Amy, not because the job made her special somehow. She was just walking in the path that fit her and it allowed all of her qualities to show.

Several years later I was a college graduate and hanging out with a girlfriend that was making a living selling Mary Kay (super impressive).  I went to a lot of Mary Kay parties because I got to play with makeup, hang out with cool ladies, and sometimes there were snacks. As a broke young professional, it was pretty cheap entertainment.  I met my friend’s up-line, Amy. She was magnetic. I believe her skin actually glowed and I don’t think it had anything to do with makeup. Amy drove one of those sweet pink Cadillac’s and just truly connected in a way that made you feel special and empowered.  She and I discussed joining Mary Kay as a rep on a couple of occasions, and I so craved the polished and passionate persona that Amy exuded. For a brief moment I thought if I joined Mary Kay, I too could sparkle like Amy. But remembering my past Amy, I realized that’s just who she was.  It had nothing to do with the job.

Did I learn things from both of these Amy’s.  


Can I replicate their success by just showing up for the job?  

Probably not.

That’s what I want to share with you ladies, when you are walking in your path, the one made just for you and your passions, you shine just like these Amy’s.  But you are never going to replicate someone’s success by following their road map. Every time I listen to a Rachel Hollis podcast or meet with someone in a coaching conversation I take notes and come back with a few questions:

What resonates most with me?

How does this apply to me and my passion?

What could I implement that would make my status quo: better/faster/more successful?

Anything that doesn’t fall into this, I throw it back.  And remind myself that it’s OK.

By: Tabitha Frey, Married. Dog mom. Mid-Century Mod lover. Calligraphy-amateur. Christ follower. Poshmark Seller. Follower along with her on Instagram at @derbycityflourish.