Stop Waiting to Feel Ready Before You Go After What You Want (and What to Do Instead)
There is a statistic out there that comes from a Hewlett Packard report that’s been quoted in Lean In, The Confidence Code and dozens of articles and says this:
“Men apply for a job when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them.”
As one Forbes article put it, “Men are confident about their ability at 60%, but women don’t feel confident until they’ve checked off each item on the list.”
While this doesn’t apply for every single man or every single woman, in my own career, in my own friendships, both male and female, and in myself personally, I do see this statistic play out often.
Whether it’s asking for a raise, a promotion, or starting a business, many times us ladies will wait for the perfect time to ask or make the move…Once we get that certification or take that course, then we’ll feel ready. Once we get our LLC established, website up and business cards printed, then we’ll be ready to start. Once we have more time to dedicate to our idea/plan, then we’ll make the move.
The thing is, is that we’re never going to feel ready. If it means a lot to us and we’ll regret not doing it or asking for it when we’re old looking back on our life, then we just need to take that first step forward and start moving in the direction of our dream life. Jen Sincero says, that “before you can start kicking ass, you first must lift your foot.”
And that is exactly what the owner of HIM Gentleman’s Boutique (and also my little my brother :)), Ross Wallace, did when he took the leap towards his big idea to open up a men’s clothing store. He will tell you, he didn’t have a business degree, he didn’t have experience running a store or hiring employees. He had never taken a class in inventory management. And he definitely didn’t know about remodeling. But he had a big dream, felt a purpose, put together a plan and took massive action, even before he was ready.
I wanted to share Ross’s story with you because any of us can do the exact same thing. No one starts off knowing everything - you will learn along the way, make a lot of mistakes, probably feel like quitting more than once, but if your dream is important enough and pulling at your heart strong enough, you have to find a way to just start, even before you are ready.
Tell us a little about HIM now. What gave you the idea?
I was walking around downtown New Albany with my then girlfriend, and would stop into all the boutiques for women. Each time we’d go into one, I’d wish that someone would open up a local shop for men. I was tired of having to go to the mall for everything. Finally, one day, I decided not to wait for someone else to do it, and that it should be me.
How did you start? Was it an impulse decision or something that had been building?
I had always been in sales, I loved working with people— getting to know them, and connecting with them. But, once I got into the corporate world, it wasn’t fun anymore. After having the story in my head that “someone else should open a men’s store”, I realized that I needed to make a change in my life because I wasn’t happy where I was. I loved fashion, and all my friends would ask my fashion advice, so it just seemed natural that the men’s shop should be mine.
What did from the time of idea to opening night look like? Did you ever question what you were doing?
It’s always scary to make the leap, but where I was I felt that I had nothing to lose. When I have an idea, or something I want nothing will stand in my way. As my fiancé always says... “I’m a dog with a bone”. I didn’t know all the details, but I could see the big picture so I just went for it.
How were you able to get through any self doubt or challenges that came up to keep moving forward?
Luckily, my fiancé has always been my biggest supporter. She has been there to push me forward when I didn’t know if I could take another step. She keeps my mind focused, and talks me down if I get stressed.
Also, for me, failure wasn't/isn’t an option. When I’m passionate about something, I will give it my everything when it’s something I love.
What makes what you’re doing now running HIM so much better than your previous careers?
I am passionate about what I do. I get to help people by making them feel great in what they are wearing. And frankly, I get to work for myself.
What failures have you had to overcome?
I have been very lucky, where nothing major has happened, so far. I have had to course correct when I have found a vendor who I thought would sell well, and after getting it in the store, realizing it wasn’t a good fit. So, learning who my customer is, and curating the store is a constant learning curve.
What would you tell others who maybe in your same shoes from three years ago, but know they are meant for more? Or what if someone has a great idea they’re excited about but just waiting for the right time?
There is never a right time. You will never have everything perfectly planned out. You just have to take the plunge. You will sink, or you will swim. All you need to do is have a clear vision or your ultimate goal, surround yourself with those who support you, and just “wing it”.
It’s scary and uncomfortable, but in those scary and uncomfortable places is where all the good stuff is. And hey, if it doesn’t work out the first time... try a new path to get there. It doesn’t matter how many times you get knocked down— only how many times you get back up.
What’s something we could do today to start moving in the direction of our best selves?
Do the thing you KNOW you need to do, but you are regretting because it’s uncomfortable. Think about what decisions you need to make that will serve your vision... Making those choices that will lead you in the direction of your ultimate goals is the only way you’ll get there. Every situation is simply a choice. What choice serves your vision?
Any favorite books/podcasts/documentaries that have made an impact on you either in business or personal development?
“Act like a success. Think like a Success” by Steve Harvey
“The Warrior Book” by Garrett J. White.
And lastly, what should us ladies know if we’re looking to get the men in their life ready for fall?
Him Gentleman’s Boutique has two locations:
314 Pearl St.
New Albany, IN
2352 Frankfort Ave.
We are fully stocked in incredible fall fashions from Naketano, Scotch and Soda, Patagonia, Mizzen + Main, AG Jeans, Levi’s, Johnston & Murphy, Cole Haan, Eastlands, Stance Socks, Ray-Ban, Saxx Underwear, Stetson hats, and more...
We are in store to help you find that perfect look—we make it fun and easy. If you’re shopping for your man or if he is in to update his threads, we are your one stop shop to find the best variety of casual looks to dressy, and even wedding suits to fit any budget.
As a breast cancer survivor herself, our mama, Connie Wallace, will be the face of this cause for HIM. Isn’t she the cutest?